Relationships are The Keys to Success

The relationships we have in our lives are the keys to success. Positive childhood experiences and meaningful relationship help children to build resilience and reduce depression and other mental illness, even in children with adverse childhood experiences. It is the relationship that is the agent of change, not punishment, not rewards, not overindulgence, not being taught “a lesson.” The relationships we have are central to our wellbeing. If you are concerned about your child’s social and emotional development right now, as many parents are. I want to assure you that your child is currently, and continuously developing social and emotional skills and it is through you, through your connections, your simple interactions, and your love.

I often get asked, why does my child act so selfishly? Here is what I say in return: Young children are going to act selfishly when they don’t get what they want or if they don’t like something, or if they are tired. Because that is developmentally what young children do. They are, by definition- selfish. As they get older and mature, they will develop a greater capacity for perspective taking and they will become less driven by the self. But all of that takes time and development. So if your 4 year old falls apart when they lose at candy land- this does not mean they are going to behave like this forever and they do not need to be taught “a lesson” on how to lose gracefully. When they do need is your empathy, compassion, and patience.

So, if you can take this time at home and focus on the relationship you have with your children, focus on the relationships you have with your friends and family, and with your community. Help your children to maintain these relationships with calls, letters, waving at people. How is your relationship with your community? Can you strengthen it by dropping off food to those in need? check in on your neighbors? Find other acts of community service? Young children need tactile, concrete examples of acts of kindness in order for it to resonance with them. Donating money online, and other acts of altruism that are not tangible will not be seen by young children. So, can you think of some concrete ways to show them how you are maintaining the relationships you already have, and developing new ones within your community. This will teach your children just how valuable relationships are and how we need them in order to be successful. This is what young children need to flourish social and emotionally.



Originally Posted Relationships are The Keys to Success – Consult Allegra Blog Posts